Building the Capacity for Positive, Meaningful, Parental Involvement...Let’s Start with Fair Expectations

I love being involved in my children’s education the way that I am.  I see the opportunities I take advantage of, as a way of focusing on the positive, and way for me to cope with what is.  My husband happily supports my passion because he views my time away at meetings, conferences, and workshops, as free education and training for my job as a mother.  I have made a commitment to myself to be an advocate because I love it and I need it.

I am meeting new people all the time and I am getting to know other religions, cultures, and people with diverse abilities, I’m convinced!  We all want love and belonging, we all want to feel valued, and we all want to feel safe and successful. 

Lately, I have noticed that people have stopped telling me inclusion doesn’t work; now what I hear is that inclusion can only work when parents are involved like I am.  No brag, just fact folks....I am really into this shit!  I plan to take this bus to the end!  I am committed to social justice for all!!  To expect all parents who have a vision for inclusion, to feel driven  to work countless hours and endure more stress and challenges a midst their already incredibly stress-filled lives, is very unfair.  Think of a single mom who may be new to our country, or a loving foster mother who is already feeling stretched too thin, for example.

 All children have the right to receive the same considerations as my child....especially if their families are overwhelmed or in crisis!  Yet it seems that they only way to make things happen within the system for a child, is to be a tireless, posistive volunteer and a fierce advocate (and sadly but truthfully, 35 yr old, middle class, white woman doesn’t hurt either).  I hope that I am able to use my strengths (and society's weaknesses) to open doors, and with grace, hold them open for others behind me, just as others have graciously done for me.

I think it is very important for parents to be involved when they can be.  I also believe that it is very important to build the capacity within the system to support families when they need it, whether they understand the “proper channels” to follow or not.  An inclusive education model must not rest on the condition that the parents are willing to “work for the school” because many parents can’t for many reasons. 

The expectations for the role of the parent need to be flexible and supportive.  More and more parents are beginning to spend more and more time at our school.  Why?  It’s because we feel welcome.  It is not unusual to see a cluster of moms enter a home across from the school for tea after they drop their kids off, or a few parents hanging out in the staff room having coffee with one another.  It is wonderful to have so many present, active volunteers and to be a part of developing life- long friendships.

Our Principal has talked about creating a Parent Resource room at our school I think it is a great idea!  I was doing some research I think next week, I’m going to talk to him about calling it the Parent/Teacher Resource Room, and inviting space, with coffee, furniture, flowers, books, and a computer where parents and teachers can feel as though we are really all in this together!

Relational Leadership is about process.

The process component of the Relational Leadership Model means that individuals interact with others and that leaders and other participants work together to accomplish change. The process creates energy, synergy, and momentum.

(McMahon, 2007)